She chose it just like I choose to sleep and wake Just like I choose what flavor ice cream It was remarkable, a choice few could make She had even fewer choices Certainly not as many as Ben & Jerry’s Something more along the lines of chocolate or vanilla Rugs are easy to find she thought But hurry, Octavian is coming And snakes can be treacherous All she needed was a way Because will was something she never lacked So up on her sleeping bower She called a physician I have choices, but only one is fit for queens And so saying she wrote letters of entreaty to her former lover Caesar, who buried her, with her still warm husband And so cold she shuddered, shivering with poison, like ice cream Shimmering through her veins So here it is, among these figs Lend me my headdress and robe and quick you too Inhale this sweet ending, before they come I will not be a pawn left to prowl alone Encased in glass seen and not known And so with her lithe, alive spindle of poison It took her arm lovingly between bared jaws And kohl ringed eyelids fluttered with relief Relieved of the weight the crown had brought on her head O Antony and heaven flash before My last flutter, take care dear asp I will not forget
<<Shall you kill me where I lay?>> asks
the lover of her son. <<Are you here
to remind me that when man learned
to fly he forgot his mother and then
fell in love with the moon?>>
He makes not that her skin
is oiled like a duck from eating
pitted olives on her lunch break,
that her cheeks are ruddied like that old
English Rudyard, and that her nose is peeling.
<<When he learned to fly, mother,
we learned to love the moon. Her changes
I could count, mother, and where her face
Would focus, I could know.>>
My mother screamed <<God damn you, God damn you, my child, God damn you,
You negated everything. You pest! You never once said sorry & meant it, you never knew you were so bad—>> I asked God to take me then, selah, I asked and he didn’t dare hear and he left me here to toil more and more over again. I asked God to take me then, I asked God, that if he could spare me, please, I never knew of a father, I never knew of an early father, an earthly father, could he take me to his breast? I took the lamp and the sheet and threatened fire! But he tried not to hear me as up went my screams.
Her mind wanders up past the plaster ceiling and into the stars. She releases her thoughts, for they were struggling to break free of her body and become one with the universe miniscule and HUGE within the nonexistent boundaries of the stars and as they disappear into forever, more thoughts form inside her head.
PS: the magic page that will always jump you to the latest poem is "http://www.saintannsny.org/depart/computer/poems.html"